ARTICLES

I had never tried writing articles until I suddenly found myself writing them for a living, the story of which can be found here. And just in the nick of time too. With a new baby in the house, I suddenly had to buckle down and take life seriously. No more whooping it up all day selling driving lessons over the phone: “’Ow much are yer lessons?” “Thank you for your call, can I just get your number please, in case we get cut―” “Never mind that, I just want to know ’ow much are yer lessons.” “Well sir, we have a range of courses available, perhaps if I could take a few de―” Click. All day every day. And Monday mornings were the worst, when they rang in furious that their instructor hadn’t turned up over the weekend. As if we could do anything to help them get back those few lost precious hours of their lives. And then there were the jokers who liked to call up to shout abuse at you, or pretend they’d just won a Lamborghini in a raffle and needed a crash course. “Geddit? A crash course… har har har.”

Where was I? Oh yes, articles. For three years I wrote nothing but. Here’s a small selection.